Fun with words!

Posted September 19, 2016
Filed under: Empowering Others, Your speeches |

Fun with words!

LIPOPHILIA a big word for “Prepare to Groan” …  How about uplifting someone’s day by  inserting one of  your favorites, below, into your e-messages, letters, newsletters, speeches, etc.?

      •    Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!

•    How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.

•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

•    They told me I had Type-A blood, but it was a typo.

•    I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.

•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

•    I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

•    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

•    When chemists die, they barium.

•    I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.

•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.   It was a play on words.

•    Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

•    I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job  because she couldn’t control her pupils?

•    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

•    Broken pencils are pointless.

•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

•    I dropped out of communism class because of terrible Marx.

•    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

•    Velcro – what a rip off!

•    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.